My first post

Yeah. So I decided to start a new blog, also this first post will be a brainvomit..

I've been grinding my gears the last few weeks of misery in a toxic relationship. It's fucked up that I even bothered trying again... I don't even know why, but I wanted it to work. 

Thinking about it now... I think back the last what... 11 years.. Of this one guy I totally screwed over... How happy he really made me, but I was too fucking immature to even realize what I had. Every day now I'm thinking what I could've had with him... It could've been great. He's the most amazing guy I've ever known, deep inside I still love him even if it's been quite a few years since we actually met... I fucking hate myself for what I did.. How I shut him down when he tried to start over... All I really want now is to see him one more time, I miss him and how he'd pamper me in the best possible ways... So there you have it, my first rant about how I'm heartbroken by my own foolish ways... And the worst part? It's too late now...